The Biggest Struggle

As we approach the anniversary of the first lockdown, as a single woman, single mum in this world, I can’t sit here and pretend it has not had it’s challenges, and this comes from a woman who genuinely loves her life.

Losing a recently set up healing centre in the first few weeks of the first one was a challenge in itself, and a very stressful one, add to that fighting to receive support from the government here in the UK. For weeks being one of the forgotten ones, yet still expected to be it all.

We are now three lockdowns in and I have to say, my biggest challenge has been facing it all, doing it all alone.

No amount of online input from friends and family members can replace the experience of having someone walking beside you every day through the year we have just walked through, walked through alone. I know there are many couples who have split through this experience. We always said that, a bit like a holiday, it would be a make or break season, but watching others pull together as you are pulling your own hair out at times has been so hard. Looking on, not through jealous eyes, but through eyes that know you wish you had that in your life. Unwilling to be with just anyone, to be with someone and with more awareness than ever that a real connection with a partner in crime was so desired. So needed.

Self care and caring for my children became my world. Knowing that if my mental health went, so would my daughters.