What does not kill us…..

I hope you are well. I have to say, this weekend, has not been a weekend I with to repeat, simply because I have never felt fear like I have. However I have never felt stronger in my life either.

So picture, the scene, you know you sit at the opticians, you know there is something wrong with one of your eyes, it hasn’t been right for a few months since having covid, but you sit there, and that question is fired at you ‘what letters can you see?’

What letters? A feeling of fear began to surface, in fact for the next 30 minutes, with every lens adjustment, and still my reply ‘what letters? that fear progressed into the start of a panic attack, something I have not felt for twenty years.

Why am I sharing? Because I am keeping it real. It’s not all about success and happiness. Sometimes it is about pain, it is about fear, it is about your life crashing down just like the tower card, it’s about remembering to breath, over and over again.

I am sharing because I have not felt so afraid and alone as I did, for years. I have had to hold everything together for everyone around me for years now and this weekend not only did I have to do it for me. I had to also open up my heart and mind to let others help me. I’m talking humans not just spirit.

The Opticians words, you have covid eye so put a few lubricating eye drops in as often as possible, and if no improvement go to the hospital in seven days just did not sit right with me. I thank God for that! I thank God that I listened…